The Origins

Just as he had said, Zeus sent for me early the next morning. Once again, Hermes was my escort. "Don't let him get to you." The messenger told me on our way down the golden halls. "He has mellowed a lot with age. And he really wants to get our stories out there in their correct form so I don't think he will kill you." Somehow his words didn't help comfort me. I wonder why.
Zeus was sitting in his throne just like the night before. I realized, in the light of day, that the whole of it was covered in garnets. The one next to it was adorned with amethysts, the next in aquamarine, and so they went down the line with each of the 12 thrones bearing one of the gems that we know as our birthstones. Interesting. There was an extra chair set up in the center of the circle that had not been there last night. Zeus gestured that I should sit in it. Next to it was a note pad, a pen, a cup of coffee and some pizza.
"I had Hermes run down to Earth and bring back some nourishment for you. As you know we live mainly off of ambrosia and nectar, which would make you immortal as well and we can't be having that."
"Of course not," I replied. Although I did wonder why in the world I shouldn't be immortal. Kind of a cool concept if you ask me.
"If you are ready I think we should get started. Even though most of the books have it right I believe it would be best to start with the beginning. My beginning that is."
I settled down with my coffee and my note pad and listened to the tale of Zeus.

"My father was Cronus, the Lord of the Titans. The Titans were his brothers and sisters. He had married his sister Rhea and because he was a Lord he was expected to have children. The problem was that he had been told by his father Uranus that one of his children would overthrow him. Therefor, good old dad swallowed each of his offspring as soon as they were born."
"Didn't Cronus overthrow his father? Wouldn't that mean he got his due if one of his did the same to him?" I was curious, and wanted to make sure what I knew was right.
"Well yes, I was going to leave that part out but I guess it is important. I will make it short though. Cronus was the son of Uranus and Gaia, who were Heaven and Earth. Uranus was very jealous of his children and kept them locked away inside of their mother. Grandma wasn't to keen on that and so she gave dad a sickle and told him to take revenge on Gramps. Next time he came to fulfill his needs with his old lady, dad took the sickle and castrated him. Some things came of that deal but we will deal with them later. Anyhow, before he left, Gramps told Dad that something of the same nature would happen to him. Hence the swallowing of the children.
"Mom, however, had a plan. When I was about to be born she went to Crete and had me there in a cave. When she got home she gave Dad a rock wrapped in a blanket and told him it was his latest child. Gullible as ever, he swallowed it and went on about his business.
"I stayed in the cave for years and was nursed by the goat Amalthea. When I grew strong enough I went home and made a poison for Dad which would make him regurgitate all of my siblings, who were now also full grown. Out came Hades, Hera, Demeter, Hestia and Poseidon. They ran away to me and we forged an alliance to get rid of Dad and the other Titans. I went into Tartarus, the lowest place in the underworld, and also employed the help of the Cyclops which were my uncles as well. Dad had locked them down there and they wanted revenge. In order to help out they gave me thunderbolts that they had made. Best gift I ever got. My other 3 uncles, the Hecatoncheires, were also in Tartarus and offered to help the cause. They were handy guys to have on my side considering that they each had 100 arms and hands.
"We marched back to Olympus and met up with my brothers and sisters and beat the crap out of Dad and the other Titans."
It looked as though he was done with his story. "I have a question." I said, because I did. "What about Typhos? You wanted to get the story straight, so what about him? Wasn't he your last foe even though he wasn't a Titan?"
"Ugh, I hate talking about that prick but he is part of the story. Typhos was Grandma Gaia's son. His father was Tartarus so you can only imagine what kind of a beast he was. Man from the waist up but a double serpent on the bottom. And he had 100 snake heads which were fast as lightning. Well, not quite that fast considering that I killed him with lightning. It took everything I had to slay him, several times I thought he would win the battle. But in the end I was the victor and I sent him to Tartarus along with the rest of them. And that is how I became the King of the Gods, the highest on Mount Olympus. Any other questions?"
"Yeah."
"Of course you would. Go ahead."
"Go back to the part where your Dad castrated his father. What became of that? I'm curious mainly because it would clear up the story of Aphrodite. No one seems to agree on how she came about. Some believe she is your daughter but others say it ain't so."
"She isn't my daughter. When Dad took the sickle to Uranus his family jewels fell into the ocean. A foam grew around them and it is from that foam that Aphrodite was born. She stepped onto land a full grown goddess intent on making life hell with all her love bull shit. She sure is pretty though..."
"Did anything else happen? From the castration?" I tried getting him back on track and away from the mental image of Aphrodite in the nude.
"Oh, yeah, a couple of things. The blood that fell from his scrotum fell to the Earth and up sprang the Giants and the Furies. We ended up getting in a big fight with the Giants later, and I will tell you about that at the appropriate time. The Furies on the other hand are a pretty good lot. They avenge crime, which is good for me considering I am the God of justice. They keep to themselves for the most part though. Not a real exciting group."
"What about the things that happen next? You and all your lady friends for instance?"
"Shit, I knew you would bring that up. Let me go have some lunch first and then I will tell you about me and my ladies. I'm sure you will hear a lot about them from my old lady Hera as well. She doesn't take kindly to my liaisons."
"I can't imagine why not. Enjoy your lunch Zeus."
He walked away and left me sitting there laughing about the fact that I am all of a sudden on a first name basis with the God of Gods. Crazy.